There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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