Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
