i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's blow job season.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My bed smells like the plague
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
