I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
