I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
