i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
