the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
