Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
