in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
