i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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