Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
