when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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