My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
