so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
