this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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