tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
