I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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