apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Randomize
