i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Tornado booty call.. dedication
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
