We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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