My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
