i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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