awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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