Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
last night I used snow as a chaser
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
dude. I can hear the air.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
