there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dignity is for republicans.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
