YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
