So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
