I cockslap morals
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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