Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
