Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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