we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
