I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize