He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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