If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
