Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
