I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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