I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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