He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
