Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm bleeding and have questions
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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