those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
