Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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