I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
