So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
