i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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