you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
