His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We were destined to go to rehab together
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
