is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
