Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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