he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
