I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
